Women's Day?

Elena Poinatowska came to CSUN yesterday and I heard one of our professors hit her with a question that essentially said 'That as women become more empowered, men become nothing more than sperm donors.' The most recognized female Mexican author was flabbergasted.

I am flabbergasted as well. I could think of worse thing to be than just a sperm donor.

Yesterday I got that email about the Afghani woman who has been beaten throughout her hell of marriage. I also learned that Oprah is number 600-something in the Forbes list of billionaires. I think she is the only billionaire to build a school for young women on that list, or maybe she just has better PR. Yesterday I read an essay from a student who's mother picked her lover's side in the court hearing my student initiated when her mom's lover tried to get it on with her as well. Another student wrote how she was made to feel ashamed her body and skin color until she read Sandra Cisneros and learned that the virgen also has a 'panocha.' Women have it and had it tough, but there are good things also like Oprah.

More women are graduating high school and college than men, at least in the US. There are more diverse roles for women on TV! This week's George Lopez episode showed the amazingly beautiful, sexy, Constance Marie worrying about her losing her looks. Superficial? Ofcourse! Something we never talk about Most definately! Being a fan of gorgeous women it made me think about that head trip a super hot woman must go through when indeed she has more years behind her than in front and when gravity really kicks in. All their life they had that card: their looks, and now it is fading. This society has done a number on women and their image(s).

I often tell my students to avoid the 'racks of torture.' The magazine racks filled with women's magazines. Everyone of those rags tells women how they are not good enough in bed, how they should dress, what make up they need to 'make up' for their God given flaws, how to serve their men better, how to re-ignite their men's interest (because we all are supposed to not stay interested in anything for too long), and how they absolutely are nothing in this world if they cannot 'catch' a man to care for them, love them, or at the least be a sperm donor.

I am afraid for my daughter. She has already been molested by the Disney channel, Fashion TV and Real Lives of OC Wives, or something like that. She has already worried about how tall she will grow up to be. She is just 10 yrs. old.

I hope to keep introducing her to strong, intelligent, motivated, successful women who are comfortable in their ideas, dreams, desires and bodies. Xicanas.

Happy Women's Day, Week, Year, Life...


Anonymous said...

it may be off point, but its somewhat related... let me say somethings, and then related it back to you and your daughter.

I think men, have to reflect deep inside themselves to recognize how they have affected the women that they have come across. Yes, society plays a huge role in the self-doubt that some women experience and the images that sometimes we feel we have to uphold...But it goes beyond that. In my experience it also has to do as well with the connections that are made, the relationships that are made, the trauma we have faced, the way we have been treated by men, our partners (even those conscious Xicanos who claim, 'que viva la mujer'...). Even how we have been treated by other women.

woman, as well as a men(I know it goes both ways), deserve full respect in every way. And when men have issues they haven't dealt with, and take them out on their partners, it creates a cycle of insecurity from both direction. yes, women need to also reflect and dig deep inside to deal with our own issues too. but i come across a lot of men, who don't even want to go there.

But as strong men, I feel the most important thing a man can do, especially for his children, both daughters and sons, is to provide a positive example. You can keep introducing them to wonderful women, but the ones that she will look up to the most, or be affected by, is YOU and her mom.

The relationship she has with you, and the relationships she sees you form, and the way you handle them, are going to affect her and her perceptions about how things should be...

These words I say with a lot of love for you and your daughter. She is amazing, and has had great examples... but sometimes we forget how our own relationships and ways we deal with them, will affect our children for years to come.

Just something to think about...

pushing30 said...

Its not easy being a womyn. But it helps to know that there are SOME enlightend men out there. Somewhere.
If you know of any... err.. uh... tell them I said whats up.
However! I'm sure you are more than just a sperm donor! you cook right?

Pachuco 3000 said...

A) for anonymous: YES, I know I need to be careful and conscious of what she sees me doing because that will shape her more than the mujeres I have her meet, read about and listen to.
I have been kicking the idea around of starting men's groups that address a lot the issues men ignore, are not aware of, or afraid of facing. This will manifest. I hope that we develop some rites of passage for all our kids that are more practical for this society yet honoring our ancestors and nature.

B) for pushing 30: Enlightened? Far from it.
Of course I am a bad ass cook. Its all about the mix of scents, textures, flavors and intentions, with a lot of planning and patience.

Gracias for visiting Pachucoville

pushing30 said...

To your comment to A)
It's interesting that you bring up a men's group, because honestly, there arent any. I was talking a friend of mine who is a great community organizer and an elder and he said he goes to so many events where women are being honored (great thing) but that there are always men lacking. There are SO MANY women help groups, but hardly any for male Latinos. Maybe it has something to do with that pinche macho shit, but who knows, you might be onto something there Pachuco.