Saturday w/ Q

I was up puttering around the house, heating canela tea, wondering what to make for breakfast. My Q was still asleep when her greatgrandma called to invite us over for hashbrowns, eggs and bacon.

After a great meal, showers and a few rounds on the PS2 we headed out with no particular destination.

Filled up the tank and thought for moment that we should be taking public transit, but we did have to end up in Burbank to drop of PT sometime.

Heading west on Sunset, south on Glendale, west again on Beverly, I was thinking the Beverly Center for some people watching. Q was telling me about her Spring Break camping trip with grandparents and cousins. I told her about the latest break up. She mentioned that she was getting hungry, she barely touched her hashbrowns, so when we hit Fairfax it was over to Damianos for a slice of peperoni pizza.

Across the street I saw an old face of an all too brief minor celeb in the house music scene. He was now panhandling out front of Canter's. He was homeless back when he recorded his seminal track. The track got him into all the clubs and made him friends with all the DJs and promoters who were in the know. He seemed happy to be always happy in those days. He would always tell me about the DJs we had on PT and how he liked the deep stuff over the trance. Sightings of him in the clubs diminished, but his visits to record stores to talk to peeps, who talked to me let me know he was still out and about looking for another producer to capture his voice. He is a very nice guy. We went over to talk to him and see how he was doing. He was glad that later that night we would have some deep house on the show for him to groove to. We gave him some money to eat with and continued our journey.

Over at the Beverly Center it seemed like Christmas time with all the traffic and chaos. Seems NOBODY walks into the Beverly Center. My Q mentioned how weird the architecture of the BC is. 'It goes all over the place, and no place at all. Parking this way and that, but boring at the same time." Getting on the elevator was an exercise in squeezing in, but once inside the place was fine. "Where did everybody go?" We went to the new HnM and thought that the clothes looked nice, but cheaply made. I'll take my chances at Marshalls. Walked in to Godvia to get my Q her Easter chocolate, since I didn't see her the week before. I get her one great chocolate versus a ton of cheap chocolate. She wanted a chocolate covered strawberry, fine. The associate on duty offered us a Godiva scratcher to see if we would win anything. We did! 'A free chocolate.' She looked a little dissapointed, but then got nice with us, after I said "You didn't think we would win." She then gave us another one. 'Buy one get one free.'

We sat in the ultra modern seats and couches they have throughout the mall and ate our goodies: one chocolate covered strawberry for Q and one dark chocolate bar with dark ganache inside for me. The people walking around the BC were so United Nations. Africans from Ethipoia and Senegal, whose accents I learned so well back at LACC. Asians, Europeans, and Latinos, from every country, and of course a smidgen of tourists all getting along in the sacred confines of the Church of American capitalism: the mall. Passing the Ferrari store Q asked "Why would they have a Ferrari store where they don't even sell Ferraris?" I said some people need just a label to feel better about themselves. We then decided to leave.

Getting out of the BC was worse than getting in. I'm sure this was by design. We stood and watched as three elevators filled with people opend their doors and forbade anyone getting in, even the super fine 6ft tall model with legs for miles. I decided we need to go up to get down. We hopped on the next one going up, then rode back down. When the doors opened on our starting floor, I looked out to see the super model girl laughing at her predicament. She had been waiting there before we got there. She saw me laughing at her, and then she ran off looking embarassed and upset at the same time. Sometimes you gotta go up to get down.

North on La Cienega to Santa Monica I pointed out Norms, Barney's Beanery and then Gardens of Taxco, all places I've taken Q but she might not remember. North on Crescent Hts. to Sunset, La Brea to Hollywood, to Highland, the energy level was on high in this heart of LA as street performers, tourists, bachelorette parties crawling out of oversized Hummer limos, mixed with Latino workers, cops, kids in pocket rockets, and residents, like us, who drove/strolled through and soaked it up.

Through the Cahuenga pass we made plans for the Hollywood Bowl and John Anson Ford. Hitting Barham we enter another region of LA, where the traffic thinned out, the people thicken slighty (compared to the BC), and things slow down: Burbank.

Back home to Boyle Hts. for homemade burritos and watching George Lopez and LOST on tape from the last two weeks, we settled in for the night.

Sometimes we stay in all day in our pajamas. Other days we go to events where history, art and culture collide. A museum here, an aquarium there, a movie, a hike, trip to the mall. All of them are a little sweeter with my Q.

Music Theory #1

Controversial Theory Number 1.

The era of hierarchy is closing and Rave culture helps to prove it.

This theory began as a discussion about live music and DJs. It also began with looking at a dollar bill and hearing “Sacred Circle” by Aztlan Underground many, many times.

The pyramid on the dollar represents our society. Up until now we have functioned under a hierarchal paradigm where there are a few leaders at the top and the masses on the
bottom. Our religions/politics/homes are shaped this way: Christ, Buddah, Muhammed, kings, presidents, heads of household. One/few at the top, the rest follow.

This is ending.

Collectives, boards, committees are now becoming the more common way to make things happen. The EZLN emphasizes that Marcos in not the leader, only the spokesman. Bush does not lead so much as follow the orders of his cabal of corporate donors. Corporations have taken out much of the power of CEOs and placed it in Executive boards. And DJs have made going out for a night a participatory event, not a spectator event.

People who want to go and see a band perform want to be entertained, like at home, quite passively. Watch the skills, see the faces of the voices and musicians you heard on the way to the venue. Maybe a fist in the air, a sway, a whistle, an applause of course. But that is all you really HAVE to do.

I was at a band show and saw people doing three things: holding their partner, swaying to one or two songs, or hands in pockets or at the side waiting for the cue to applaud. Even if the music was danceable, people were too concerned with what the singer might do rather than to just feel the music and dance. It is not like the singer was going to do a head-stand or light anything on fire. They were just singing.

The time between songs seemed to me to last forever. I thirsted for a beat, a rhythm, a melody to wrap myself in. I don’t want to hear you love me from some singer I don’t know or care about. I want to hear some frickin music! Shut up and play already!

People who have been exposed to the good and healthy version of Rave culture know that they are a part of creating the vibe for the party as much as the entertainment/DJ. You dress up to dance, maybe to look hot, to sweat, to move, to mingle, to meet new people and to basically feed the DJ back as much as he or she is feeding you. Sure there are some rooms where a lot of people are staring at the DJ, but overall, people are there to dance their butts offs. To participate.

Rave took the emphasis of going to be entertained and made everyone a part of the party. “In this illegal party, we might all get busted. We are in this together.” Rave is not about celebrating the DJs/entertainment, so much as celebrating life, freedom and expression. Not many people are comfortable in their own bodies to be able to close their eyes in a sea of people and dance like no one is watching.

Some people, get it, some people don’t.

This new era of participation, of engagement, is the new era that some call the 6th Sun, or the Age of Aquarius. Either way it is about raising one’s consciousness / knowledge to be able to then contribute to the whole. OR it is raising your self-esteem and endurance to dance the night away. It has to start somewhere, somehow.

The paradigm has shifted, is shifting, we all need to step it up. Have something to bring to the table. Have something to contribute to the party. BRING IT. Be in it, not just watching.

The end of the pyramid is happening. The re-entering of the Sacred Circle is calling. What are you bringing to the circle? Start by supporting your local DJs. Bring back the ideals of P.L.U.R: Peace, Love, Unity & Respect. Dance like no one is watching. Be in dancing shape at the least America! Join an idea. Critical Mass bike rides are a great alternative.

Critical Mass is an idea. No leaders. No set routes. Just meet on the day and ride in a group, let the mass lead.

Learn to be in community with others for something. We don’t have to know EVERYTHING about the person next to us, just that right now, at this moment we are in PLUR. Is this getting too hippy for you? It is for me. Blast away.

Emotional Reflux

The other day I learned how/why my parents got married. It was not good. Equal parts: grand ma’s misunderstanding, brother’s exaggeration and a whole mess of complacency on both the future ma and pa.

I never have seen them hug and kiss. Nor look at each other with desire or pride. Never heard one compliment the other. Never seen a random act of kind love. Never have seen a couple in love.

Except on TV and films and there is so much drama there, you know.

“I wanted to run away. If there was some family to go to, I would have. I didn’t love him, I just liked him. I kind of felt sad for him. Always talking about his hometown and how he missed it.”

Drama, but no love.

I admire resiliency, strength, conviction, faith, endurance, consistency, dependability, responsibility, loyalty, self-sacrifice, and positivity.

I’ve seen that.

I’ve also seen: fear, jealousy, greed, selfishness, non-communication, aggression, passive aggression, resignment, insecurity, absence, stagnation, complacency, loss of hope, pettiness, and stubbornness.

So it is, por vida.

Friends have said we can change or act in the opposite of what we have seen or learned. But what do we do with the teachers? Do we continue to witness and absorb? Do we alter the relationship? How much?

Over many fights, disconnects, re-connects and drama, I now recognize some of my bad habits and have not acted when they come around and want me to scratch the itch. That is different. How long and how many mistakes must I make before I recognize all my bad habits and begin to not do them any more? I often feel like Heathcliff who thought he did everything he could, everything he should, but time, place, and old scars get in the way. Will I be like Heathcliff waiting on the moors since hindsight is usually 20/20.

One friend just told me to “Stop and do not get involved with anyone, anymore, ever again.”

That would be different.

R.O.F.L.M.A.O

12:06:45pm

SENT BOX: Is it 'happy Friday?' Or Good Friday, or both?

INBOX: Well it is good Friday until noon. Now that jesus has died it is happy martini friday : )

Endings & Beginnings & endings & beginnings

Everything that has a beginning, has an end.
Everything that has a beginning has an end?
Everything that ends starts a new.
Everything that ends starts a new?

Old axiom(s) that never ceases to confuse. To give hope. To sting a little.

Nothing has a beginning nor an end.
Nothing has a beginning nor an end?

What if Janis Joplin was right and it is just the same old shit?
Unless we are able to relinquish our will there is a little relief in that.

Ending is liberating, relief, growth, breath, clear (hopefully), painfull, shocking, awakening, scary, uncomfortable, etc...
Beginning is too, so are they the same thing?

Possibilty
Open to possibility
Is this an illusion? Is it all laid out for us already? Is there any choices? Or is there only left, right and back each with pre-determined paths? Even the choice of direction may be hardwired into us so it only seems like a choice but we seem to always make the same choice, so how is that a choice?

om


(It is Good Friday, lots of Catholics are fasting, attending mass, and feeling guilty over Jesus' persecution by the Jewish/Roman government. I remember when I was much younger, still faithful to the church and feeling so guilty over havng sex with my girlfriend on Good Friday, right after we got home from church. Lately, I often fast on Fridays for meditative, health and cleansing reasons. Today I feel like going in the opposite direction and indulging in everything. Is this a new direction or simply responding to an old cycle that emerges in me every so often? Am I just rebelling still against a church I left so many years ago? Or am I 'in tune' with my needs? Let's go have some carne!)

om

LOL

Spring break update

P-3000 y La Red-y
Thursday: Rode to Olvera to roll with Semillas, caught Teatro Campechana, headed out a lil after 1pm, lots of support, green t-shirts of hope everywhere. Great rally, took over the street, rode back to BH about 3:30 to meet ma'. Eat at overpriced Pasadena eatery, end up watching equally pretty but vancant film, good talk time with ma'. Home to relax and put aloe vera on. Got word on charter approval later that night. A-ho!


Friday: got Q, ate bad, came hm., chilled out, got out to Critical Mass, rode west, south, west again, north, east, rest at Pan Pacific Pk, down to Hollywood Blvd., and flew down Western from Franklin, loved it.

Vega, Mendoza, Orozco y Gamboa

Saturday: Gamboa's shoot is great time. Old friends and new. All have some form of degree from a university, 25 Chicana/os, dressed in black, on Lake, gathering at Borders, over to Trader Joes, load up a cart, eat on the terrance, walk to Winchell's looking like am unplanned procession, sit at tables as Gamboa directs us. DOPE.
Aterciopelados was Arteciopelados. A skilled live act. A later blog on music and me will explain my ambiguity. Great time overall.
La Virgen de Guadalupe, Pachuco 3000 y Cyber-Fabi

Q climbing high
Sunday: Picinic with the Noodle Family at Griffith park: delicious food, cards, soccer, catch, people watching, magic, clowns, hiking, monkey in the middle, saw a party with a full on copper pot making chicharones. Love the Noodles. No DEEP. Sleep. The Sun can burn me out.

Johnny Blaze & P-3000
Monday: CSUN, $, bank, get Johnnies Blaze & Vegas in Montebello, over to El Rodeo in Pico for the buffett, tacos de ojo like only in the Eastside, looking like a painting came to life, unreal. Munch down on the Birria! Back to BH to drop and pick some stuff, to Elysian park for a lil hike, back through Antigua to get some cafe, in Montebello Boom Boom Studios in time for 15min into the first half of the finals. I mix a mix solo, then 2x2 with J Blaze.

Tuesday: Home here writing to space & to you. Later today need to visit Bob's on Whittier and cut down the virtual stack of essays awaiting.

Passivity

I am passive...

I am passive as I wait for a leader, instead of using my own voice which truly speaks from my heart.

I am passive as (some) of the government is on trial for high crimes and misdemeanors that have left people homeless, penniless, illiterate, lifeless.

I am passive as the nation loses civil rights once thought necessary to keep tyranical leaders at bay.

I am passive as a war rapes, tortures and kills at the request of corporations who were born in this country.

I am passive as I watch someone else do their thing, as I may not necessarily know what MY thing is all the time.

I am passive as the planet heats up, cooking me, maybe drowning me, eventually starving me off of her for abusing her.

Are you being passive?
Have you been passive?
Can we all stop being passive?
Really, do have any time left to keep being passive?