another one...

Last night my uncle Mike, Miguel Estrada joined my mother, his big sister, in the afterlife.
At 3:30 in the morning he had a third and final heart attack.
This is all my father told me over the phone earlier today.
He also told me there would be no services.

A month after my mom passed two years ago this August, my tio Chayo and month later my tia Rosa both on my father's side passed.
My dad had a rough year in '09.

I barely knew Chayo and Rosa, but I grew up going to Mike's house in the hills of El Sereno. Up there I rode my bike with my cousins Micheal and Francis as their sisters Linda and Lulu played inside. I don't have their numbers to give them my condolences. We are not a close family.
I haven't seen them in years. Their mom, Mike's wife, passed three years ago after a long hard battle with diabetes.

Readers here know I try to make sense of my life in writing about these things of life.

I looked up to my uncle Mike as I look up to my other uncle Kiko, both on my mom's side.
I also look up to my uncles on my dad's side, in particular Chelo, Manuel, Adolfo and Abelardo. Even though I know Adolfo and Abelardo less, the few times I have met them and the stories my dad tells me, for better or worse, have left an impression.

Miguel was the second to youngest of four. My mom, Kiko, Miguel and Leli, grew up in the Loma of Elysian Park/Chavez Ravine. They were displaced from the house their father had built, over the proposed building of public housing that never came to be. I grew up hearing them speak about their animals, trees, friends, games they would play, and the ghosts in those hills.

My earliest memory of Mike was his big BMW motorcycle that looked like a cop bike. My mom said they never had problems in their south central neighborhood, where I grew up, because of that bike. He also had a cool dark blue MG. He worked for Lockheed in the Valley. He was married to my aunt Kitty, don't know if that is her real name. I grew up knowing her as Kitty. Lulu, Linda and Micheal were older than me, but his youngest Francis was born one day after me. We were tight as kids.

Mike grew up in an LA where you had to hide your Mexicaness to get ahead. Even though they were all born here, their accents and burritos in their lunch pails announced they were not "American." Both Mike and Kiko served in the Korean War. Kiko actually went to Korea. In an issue of Stars and Stripes, there is a picture of Kiko standing next to a chalk drawing he did on a large stone of La Virgen de Guadalupe. I didn't know he was artistic. Mike got to serve in a local desert working on radios and other communication devices for the military. I didn't know he was techy like that.

Mike was good man. Loyal. Family man. He took care of his wife til her last days going up and down the long flight of stone stairs that lead from the street down to his hillside home. I loved that house.

He was always interested in what I was doing and learning. The last few times we talked we debated his newly found right wing politics that he picked up via AM radio. I was supposed to go to his house and bring him books and such that he could read and see my point of view. He said I worked at that radical hippy campus. LOL. I was going to take him a copy of "Addicted To War." I would always tell him "Just follow the money. Who benefits from the fear, the wars, the criminalization of people with no power?" It would make him think and he wanted to know more, but then he would get back to repeating the sound bites he heard on the radio. He was cool. I will miss his big hand shakes. His nose that looks like mine. The way he just was. He was my uncle.

I hope my mom, grandma and grandpa are showing him around the spirit world. Maybe he can find some time to stop by and visit me. Check out my books. I will leave some out for him. I hope I get to see my cousins and just tell them he will always be there, just remember and feel.

Mujeres de Maize Annual Month Long Celebration of Women

For the last 14 years Mujeres de Maize, an Eastside Xicana collective of artivistas, has organized a month of events that celebrate the power, creativity and beauty of being women. Each year more and newer faces respond to the call and share in many of the variety of planned activities. This is not just for women, men should be at these events to bare witness, listen and learn.

I've been a fan for many years. I hope you can make it to any of these amazing events.

One of Brisenia Flores' KIllers Gets Death Penalty, accomplices still at large, in office and on the radio

This week Shawna Forde, was sentenced to die at the hands of the State of AZ for the brutal cold blooded murder of 9 yr old Brisenia Flores and her father Raul Flores Jr. Fordes accomplices that night Jason Bush and Albert Gaxiola will have their trials in the Spring. Who is not going to trial is the politicians and their AM radio dimwits who spew hate and fear about Mexicans, and are just as guilty even if they were not physically there killing a family for being Mexican.


Forde, along with the two other dimwits, posed as law enforcement and attacked the Flores home in May 2009 to rob and to kill them for being Mexican. They shot and killed the father, they shot the mother Gina leaving her thinking she dead and when Brisenia came out and asked why they shot her father, they shot her in the face at point blank range sending her flying across the room. The dimwits left and Gina called the police. She could hear Forde telling her fellow dimwits that they left her alive, to go back in to finish the job. Gina had by then found her dead husband's gun and when they came back she was able to turn them back.

During the trial Forde's defense attorney tried to use Forde's history of being sexually and physically abused as an excuse. Attorney "Jill Thorpe, told jurors that as a child Forde was abused physically and sexually. Before she was five years old Forde had lived in seven different households. She was molested by her uncle at the age of four, and later by another man until she was 12-years-old. Thorpe also explained Forde has been diagnosed with a personality disorder where she tries to make herself look like an important leader although she's not. Mental illness keeps Shawna Forde from saying she’s sorry."

Like Loghner who shot and killed a Federal Judge, another 9 year old girl and injured others, Forde's mental stability was fertile ground for the hate a spewed by right wing politicians and their legions of dimwits throughout the country on AM radio and mainstream media.

Forde tried to be a member of the Minutemen but even they said she was too unstable. In any case the Minutemen, and anyone else Forde looked up, followed, or listened to, that promote the vigilante persecution of Mexicans, should be put on trial as accomplices. They spew hate and fear knowing very well that their message is heard by (and followed by) the drop outs, abused and low IQs, who will eventually act out. They get the fan mail, they see them at their rallies and hear their gibberish as they call in to the talk shows. They know people are on drugs or damaged in some way and yet they still have the gall to claim they are not responsible for actions based on their rhetoric.

If you are on out there calling for changes in extreme ways, and someone from your flock acts out, take responsibility whether or not that sheeple of yours is stable or not. You put those thoughts in their head, they obviously needed love not more hate in their life.

must see: Even The Rain (2010)

Saw this the other night and just have to let you know to go see it. I assigned in all my classes, it is that good. It is one of those films we should all be talking about and being inspired by in these times of growing revolutions against capitalism run amok.

It's about a film crew of Spaniards out to make a film about Columbus' early colonization of the Tainos, but they are shooting in Bolivia (to save money) during the "Cochabamba Water Wars" of 1999 and 2000. The crew hires local Quechuas to play the Tainos and cast Juan as the lead indigenous rebel who is also deeply involved in protesting the privatization of his people's water. The Spaniards believe themselves to be so liberal and kind doing this film, but their actions in making the film ("it's always about the money") is more akin to their ancestor Columbus. It is a beautifully very layered film, with every shot and line exposing a nuance that opens doors to more ideas and questions of whose side are YOU on?

munchies: T.V. Cafe

The T.V. Cafe, open 24 hours, on the corner of Olympic Blvd. and Alameda has been a truck stop diner for many, many years. When I was a kid it was one of the last "Sambo's" restaurants before they went bankrupt. For the last twenty years as T.V. Cafe it has served all types of Pachucoville residents, but the majority is mostly working class Raza who during the day have lunch, or at night are stopping in on the way home from a club.

Growing up in So. Central, I would pass that corner on my way to my aunt's in Boyle Heights or my uncle's in El Sereno. I remember when I was like 6 or 7 seven years old asking my mom about it when I saw the little kid as the logo when it was part of the "Sambo's Restaurant" chain. She told me that people were mad because it made fun of black people by calling them "Sambo" and showing a little kid with pancakes and syrup, and something about Aunt Jemima. At that age I didn't get it completely, but I knew peeps could get upset about stuff that others thought was ok to make fun of. We never stopped to eat there, even when it briefly turned into a Denny's.

In my late teens my friend Manglor, a photographer, moved into some lofts on Molino off of 4th street. This was during the Al's Bar era of the area. After one night of partying at Manglor's he suggested we go try the best vegetarian burrito in the world. So we piled in to the Fox and rolled up on T.V. Cafe. I have not stopped going there for the #31 veggie burrito since then.

Manglor was also a fan of the "Works Burger." Over the years friends of mine like Johnny Blaze, love the breakfast that is served most of time at anytime. I have also tried their cocido and it's pretty damn good. What seals the deal with T.V Cafe is their hot sauce. It is hot and tasty. Not for the weak.

As the gentrification of downtown continues to ooze east, we'll see how T.V. Cafe handles the changes. During the day the corner is bustling with semi trucks and all sorts of commercial traffic. The Los Angeles Produce and Flower Marts are just two of the large industries orbiting Olympic and Alameda. There is also large swap meet/insta food court growing up down Olympic. In the last ten years, American Apparel opened their main factory and Farmer Boy's opened up down Alameda, and also open 24 hours, has given T.V. Cafe a higher profile.

I go there to get away from B.H. There is always a family there eating when I get there. I sit alone and watch TV or listen in on conversations. I was once there for a small earthquake that made the lights sway above our heads. We all looked around and after a few Chingaos! Agus! and an Aye Carey! we all went back to our food.

82

Today my mother would have been 82 years old. Yesterday I wondered what I would do to commemorate her birthday. I tried reaching my father but no luck. He called me later at night but I missed his call. Most likely I will go to her loma and have some silence. After that probably go have dinner with my father at a place my mom would have liked.

My mom liked going to 'nice places' on her birthday. She never had a big birthday party. One year I did manage to get all her siblings together and some of her friends to come over, but pretty much we kept her birthdays pretty low profile. My dad had one big blow with over half of his 10 brothers and sisters, mariachi and all for his 60th bday. My mom never liked the spotlight. She preferred just us, a nice meal, maybe a movie for her and I and that was it.

I've missed her in new ways these last few months. I wondered what she would have thought of the new people in and out of my life, my friend's upcoming wedding in Hawaii, and recently my 24 hour battle with a 103 degree fever. It was weird to realize that I hadn't been really sick since my mom passed. I had my wisdom teeth pulled out which put me out for a day or so, but having fever that high (hallucinations and headaches) really brought back a lot of memories of my mom caring for me. I remembered my back going out on my about 2.5 years ago. I couldn't walk and with the help of good friends and my acupuncturist I made it home from the Valley. My mom heard from my neighbor how I crawled out of my car and was at my place within 25 minutes. Her and my dad brought a faja for me to wrap my back in and then went and got various salves and herbs from the local pharmacies. She was always a great mom.

Happy Birthday Mommy I hope you are having a big giant party wherever you are at : )

Loughner Got His Target, or Conspiracy #2: Another Media Whitewash

So the media is gushing over Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the little girl that was killed. They push to the side that FIVE others were killed, including a Federal U.S. District Judge John M. Roll. The shooting of Federal judges is very rare.

Sure Giffords may have pissed off right wingers, and half brains by voting for health care, but Judge Roll had been under Secret Service protection after he ruled in favor of undocumented workers who sued a AZ rancher in 2009. Roll, and his family, were threatened after his ruling was discussed on right wing radio shows. All that hate from his fellow conservatives despite making the rancher pay some of the plaintiffs $75,000 versus the $32 million they were asking for. Over 200 phone calls were made surrounding this issue. Even though Roll was a Republican, and he had previously said the Brady Bill was unconstitutional, the new Right being led by Tea Partiers and Palin, leave no room for their own to make a sane decision of their own that doesn't tow their hateful line of thinking.

Another bone to pick (or fear) that the Right had with Roll that he was the presiding judge on the Arizona case over the future of La Raza and ethnic studies.

Makes me wonder if Loughner got his target and Giffords was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.